Forgive me for my ramblings

Bog post Dec 1st

I am trying to type regular blog posts, which aren’t just me writing doom and gloom. But at the moment when I get the chance to sit and type out a post the things that come to mind aren’t positive. Recently there have been a couple of posts that weren’t even worth posting, they just sat on my computer as drafts, never to see the light of day and be released on the interweb. This is probably for the better as it may not serve a great purpose. I think I’m fairly honest on these posts, which potentially helps others to see that those positive, “happy” people aren’t perfect (nor do they want to be) and don’t have everything straight.

We are again at that time of year when I officially grow older and lament the time I feel I have wasted in the past. It is by chance that I am reading The Count of Monte Cristo and at the same time struggling with what I am doing in life. I won’t bore you with the details, as the book is a classic and well worth a read, but the main character finds his calling whilst in prison. Admittedly this calling is revenge on the people who wrongfully imprisoned him, nevertheless it motivates him to extraordinary feats. With the help of his adjacent cell mate he learns several languages and educates himself to a level of high society. He is amazed at how much he has missed over the years, but puts himself to learning everyday in order to improve, without knowing whether he will escape or not.

The thing that frustrates me is that I could be doing so much more, but I don’t know where to begin. In taking the advice I would give others in personal training, I have to start at the beginning, do something everyday and be consistent. At least I know what I have to do!

My thoughts about where I go from here are simple. I have to increase the time I have each day. If I am going to be working 6 days a week for the next year, I have to create a day somewhere. The simple solution is to get up early, perhaps 5am, spend an hour writing and learning before heading to the gym for an hour. Then if I am lucky enough to start late I can learn some more, before I have to go and earn a crust. I think I am most productive (not most talkative) at those crazy early times in the morning. This is probably for two reasons. Firstly because I am unable to process many thoughts, so my mind can’t wander. Secondly because I don’t like to talk first thing in the morning, so I can set my energies to absorbing and writing instead.

So I suppose this is me letting you know that I will be tapping out a few words each morning (post learning of course) to update you. Perhaps my French and Italian language skills will develop, along with my short stories. At least I will feel accountable to whoever may read this, even if you aren’t asking me how it is going. So in that I thank you and hope that you find some enjoyment in reading these crazy scribblings. 

Bon soir!

Tom

Calm down dear...

26th November

How time flies. Just over two years ago we arrived in Sydney and have since enjoyed a couple of different jobs and making numerous new friends along the way. I still struggle when summer comes round; Christmas isn’t far away, yet it’s 25 degrees outside. It’s also not long until my birthday and it feels like only yesterday that I was celebrating it with Mike, Laura and Catherine in York. Crazy how time flies.

It is my nephew’s second birthday soon and it is painful to think that we haven’t been there for his first two years. With his sisters Ava and Vivi I was there to help out when they were little and see them grow into little people. The cost of enjoying our life down under is missing out on those moments with my nephew and nieces, family and friends. That is our choice by being here, but don’t think it is an easy one to swallow. 

I’ve been enjoying my journey of self destruction lately, but am now focussing on a return to a normal life. It seems that I am unable to doing things like normal people. I am fine with that as I don’t wish to be completely normal, that would be boring! However I have discovered that I am a bit “all or nothing”. When I was doing PT back home I would either be working whenever I could or not much at all, consistency was not in my arsenal of skills. I was disorganised and had terrible time management/chatting issues. I am still working on the latter, but the others have improved. This is thanks to the efforts/nagging/love of Catherine and putting up with my highs and lows, the last being the worst for anyone to have to live through. There are days when I wish I was just normal; able to work consistently, have a normal mind, be able to control my extremes.

It is writing like this that helps in the above regard. By typing (the hand written stuff is too dark to share) I can tell everyone and nobody in particular how I feel. I don’t do well at talking about how I feel, unless someone else is in dire straits and it helps them by sharing. But give me a keyboard or a random note book and that page will feel the worst of my mind. Nobody gives you an instruction manual on your mind and body, you just have to figure out what works best for you. Some just bottle it up and finish off badly for it. Some turn to drink and drugs, even exercise to vent. There are also those that write, draw, paint or play music to relax. I seem to have done a little bit of everything lately, oops!

Sometimes you don’t need yoga, meditation or a life changing experience to see that you are going about things incorrectly. It helps to have someone close that knows you to be a mirror for your actions. Without that I’d probably succeed in self destructing.

So I am working on a return to the old version of me being relaxed, but with the new version of me being more organised. Out with stressing about work and money and in with spending time with friends. Good bye to excessive drinking, hello to saving for an amazing trip home next year. Let’s see if I can make this a habit I stick to. Consistency and normality here I come!

Easy come, easy go.

As I have a day off today I thought I would tap out a few words to note down what has been happening.

The day finally arrived when I had to say goodbye to the $3000 that I had worked hard to save over the last two months. I paid my tax bill for last year and silently wept at being back to square one with my savings. Well not quite square one as I actually still have $500 left, so I am actually ahead of last time - YAY! As though saving for our wedding and honeymoon wasn't motivation enough to work 6 or 7 day weeks I now have an extra kick by not having any money. Just as well it is summer and birthdays and Christmas aren't just around the corner. Oh, hang on....

Work has been terrifically busy. Not necessarily with the amount of customers in the doors, but more in regards to the things I have to do. I think I am still getting used to working on multiple things and keeping on top of things with organisation skills. When I worked for myself I would do this whenever I had free time (which was considerably more than now), but I have no desire to work outside of my hours at work. Removing myself from technology is hard enough without thinking about work outside of work. I now have quite a few tasks to complete as part of my Wellness role as well as keeping up to date with my cash team duties. Thankfully the holiday season doesn't start until tomorrow! Roll on next January and my week off for our wedding.

At the weekend Catherine and I ran our first Tough Mudder event with four friends down in the Southern Highlands. I had an amazing time, it was such good fun, mainly because I got wet and muddy and it reminded me of being a kid. I can certainly see why so many people enjoy it, being a kid again is a necessity to balance out the seriousness of adult life. Plus the camaraderie between complete strangers was awesome. Everyone was there for a challenge and it was certainly challenging running cross country, but the obstacles were great fun and a welcome interlude from the running. The organisation for the whole thing was excellent and the commentators/motivators at the start and obstacles were hilarious. For the cost of a marathon I had so much more fun and will definitely do another one next year. It reminded me how much I enjoy trail running, so I will be focusing on that over the summer.

Catherine's wedding dress has arrived in Sydney thanks to one of her kind colleagues at work bringing it back with her. Now that we have just 9 weeks left it is certainly hitting home how much we still have to do. But we will get it done. Tonight is date night and a trip to watch a band that we might hire. Fingers crossed they are good, so that we don't have to do too much searching!

Right I am off to try on ties and shoes with my wedding suit before a quick dip in the sea.

Until next time friends!

T :)

Warm springs

Ok Let's start with a fact. October this year was 2.5 degrees warmer than normal. I'm not sure what to do with that fact but as an Englishman it is my duty to share meteorological information whenever it crosses my path.

I have been busy at work lately. The other day I was nominated as the store Wellbeing Champion. Ironically I had set up a drinking society the week prior to this in order to get people from different areas to mix outside of work. The way my role was explained to me meant that I should be encouraging good work/life balance. So in my mind moderate consumption of alcohol falls into this description. Don't worry though, I am always encouraging people to eat and not go binge drinking. I naturally like to lead by example.

I've also signed myself up to work in a couple of other areas of the store that are important for our feedback and back room operations. This is mainly to learn a great deal more about the business and challenge myself in new ways. One thing the store doesn't lack is variety, which for those that know me is an excellent thing.

Outside of Apple I am still working my days off for Steve. I am trying to stick to just one day a week for him, so that I don't exceed the 48 hours a week limit that I set recently. This is tricky when I have days off in the week as I feel I'm being lazy. Considering how few hours I used to work this is actually quite hilarious to me. It seems that I have become addicted to working as much as possible. Who would have thought.

Wedding planning is progressing well under Catherine's command. We have sorted almost all the major items and just have a list of many smaller details to sort over the coming weeks. We are really looking forward to seeing everyone here and I am looking forward to a holiday! 

This weekend we are off to Bowral in the Southern Highlands again. It's a beautiful place to visit and is only two hours outside of Sydney. Unfortunately this weekend we will be dragging ourselves around the Tough Mudder circuit, so it won't be relaxing until that's over! Then I have to get back to the store for our quarterly meeting in the evening, so no rest for the wicked.

Catherine has started training for her first ocean swimming event and is overcoming her fear of swimming extremely well. I am slightly jealous that she is improving so well with her swimming and will probably be a better swimmer than me though. I may have to start my own training (because I have so much free time) and see if I can accompany her on her ocean swim. I hope it's not a ladies only event, otherwise I'll have to get a new swimming costume.

I am trying to organise more Skype and FaceTime calls with all you Brit friends. So send me a message on whatsapp or Facebook as to when might be good. I have to plan things a couple of weeks ahead to be able to fit it in around work.

Chat to you all soon,

T :)