Forgive me for my ramblings

Bog post Dec 1st

I am trying to type regular blog posts, which aren’t just me writing doom and gloom. But at the moment when I get the chance to sit and type out a post the things that come to mind aren’t positive. Recently there have been a couple of posts that weren’t even worth posting, they just sat on my computer as drafts, never to see the light of day and be released on the interweb. This is probably for the better as it may not serve a great purpose. I think I’m fairly honest on these posts, which potentially helps others to see that those positive, “happy” people aren’t perfect (nor do they want to be) and don’t have everything straight.

We are again at that time of year when I officially grow older and lament the time I feel I have wasted in the past. It is by chance that I am reading The Count of Monte Cristo and at the same time struggling with what I am doing in life. I won’t bore you with the details, as the book is a classic and well worth a read, but the main character finds his calling whilst in prison. Admittedly this calling is revenge on the people who wrongfully imprisoned him, nevertheless it motivates him to extraordinary feats. With the help of his adjacent cell mate he learns several languages and educates himself to a level of high society. He is amazed at how much he has missed over the years, but puts himself to learning everyday in order to improve, without knowing whether he will escape or not.

The thing that frustrates me is that I could be doing so much more, but I don’t know where to begin. In taking the advice I would give others in personal training, I have to start at the beginning, do something everyday and be consistent. At least I know what I have to do!

My thoughts about where I go from here are simple. I have to increase the time I have each day. If I am going to be working 6 days a week for the next year, I have to create a day somewhere. The simple solution is to get up early, perhaps 5am, spend an hour writing and learning before heading to the gym for an hour. Then if I am lucky enough to start late I can learn some more, before I have to go and earn a crust. I think I am most productive (not most talkative) at those crazy early times in the morning. This is probably for two reasons. Firstly because I am unable to process many thoughts, so my mind can’t wander. Secondly because I don’t like to talk first thing in the morning, so I can set my energies to absorbing and writing instead.

So I suppose this is me letting you know that I will be tapping out a few words each morning (post learning of course) to update you. Perhaps my French and Italian language skills will develop, along with my short stories. At least I will feel accountable to whoever may read this, even if you aren’t asking me how it is going. So in that I thank you and hope that you find some enjoyment in reading these crazy scribblings. 

Bon soir!

Tom

Calm down dear...

26th November

How time flies. Just over two years ago we arrived in Sydney and have since enjoyed a couple of different jobs and making numerous new friends along the way. I still struggle when summer comes round; Christmas isn’t far away, yet it’s 25 degrees outside. It’s also not long until my birthday and it feels like only yesterday that I was celebrating it with Mike, Laura and Catherine in York. Crazy how time flies.

It is my nephew’s second birthday soon and it is painful to think that we haven’t been there for his first two years. With his sisters Ava and Vivi I was there to help out when they were little and see them grow into little people. The cost of enjoying our life down under is missing out on those moments with my nephew and nieces, family and friends. That is our choice by being here, but don’t think it is an easy one to swallow. 

I’ve been enjoying my journey of self destruction lately, but am now focussing on a return to a normal life. It seems that I am unable to doing things like normal people. I am fine with that as I don’t wish to be completely normal, that would be boring! However I have discovered that I am a bit “all or nothing”. When I was doing PT back home I would either be working whenever I could or not much at all, consistency was not in my arsenal of skills. I was disorganised and had terrible time management/chatting issues. I am still working on the latter, but the others have improved. This is thanks to the efforts/nagging/love of Catherine and putting up with my highs and lows, the last being the worst for anyone to have to live through. There are days when I wish I was just normal; able to work consistently, have a normal mind, be able to control my extremes.

It is writing like this that helps in the above regard. By typing (the hand written stuff is too dark to share) I can tell everyone and nobody in particular how I feel. I don’t do well at talking about how I feel, unless someone else is in dire straits and it helps them by sharing. But give me a keyboard or a random note book and that page will feel the worst of my mind. Nobody gives you an instruction manual on your mind and body, you just have to figure out what works best for you. Some just bottle it up and finish off badly for it. Some turn to drink and drugs, even exercise to vent. There are also those that write, draw, paint or play music to relax. I seem to have done a little bit of everything lately, oops!

Sometimes you don’t need yoga, meditation or a life changing experience to see that you are going about things incorrectly. It helps to have someone close that knows you to be a mirror for your actions. Without that I’d probably succeed in self destructing.

So I am working on a return to the old version of me being relaxed, but with the new version of me being more organised. Out with stressing about work and money and in with spending time with friends. Good bye to excessive drinking, hello to saving for an amazing trip home next year. Let’s see if I can make this a habit I stick to. Consistency and normality here I come!

Easy come, easy go.

As I have a day off today I thought I would tap out a few words to note down what has been happening.

The day finally arrived when I had to say goodbye to the $3000 that I had worked hard to save over the last two months. I paid my tax bill for last year and silently wept at being back to square one with my savings. Well not quite square one as I actually still have $500 left, so I am actually ahead of last time - YAY! As though saving for our wedding and honeymoon wasn't motivation enough to work 6 or 7 day weeks I now have an extra kick by not having any money. Just as well it is summer and birthdays and Christmas aren't just around the corner. Oh, hang on....

Work has been terrifically busy. Not necessarily with the amount of customers in the doors, but more in regards to the things I have to do. I think I am still getting used to working on multiple things and keeping on top of things with organisation skills. When I worked for myself I would do this whenever I had free time (which was considerably more than now), but I have no desire to work outside of my hours at work. Removing myself from technology is hard enough without thinking about work outside of work. I now have quite a few tasks to complete as part of my Wellness role as well as keeping up to date with my cash team duties. Thankfully the holiday season doesn't start until tomorrow! Roll on next January and my week off for our wedding.

At the weekend Catherine and I ran our first Tough Mudder event with four friends down in the Southern Highlands. I had an amazing time, it was such good fun, mainly because I got wet and muddy and it reminded me of being a kid. I can certainly see why so many people enjoy it, being a kid again is a necessity to balance out the seriousness of adult life. Plus the camaraderie between complete strangers was awesome. Everyone was there for a challenge and it was certainly challenging running cross country, but the obstacles were great fun and a welcome interlude from the running. The organisation for the whole thing was excellent and the commentators/motivators at the start and obstacles were hilarious. For the cost of a marathon I had so much more fun and will definitely do another one next year. It reminded me how much I enjoy trail running, so I will be focusing on that over the summer.

Catherine's wedding dress has arrived in Sydney thanks to one of her kind colleagues at work bringing it back with her. Now that we have just 9 weeks left it is certainly hitting home how much we still have to do. But we will get it done. Tonight is date night and a trip to watch a band that we might hire. Fingers crossed they are good, so that we don't have to do too much searching!

Right I am off to try on ties and shoes with my wedding suit before a quick dip in the sea.

Until next time friends!

T :)

Warm springs

Ok Let's start with a fact. October this year was 2.5 degrees warmer than normal. I'm not sure what to do with that fact but as an Englishman it is my duty to share meteorological information whenever it crosses my path.

I have been busy at work lately. The other day I was nominated as the store Wellbeing Champion. Ironically I had set up a drinking society the week prior to this in order to get people from different areas to mix outside of work. The way my role was explained to me meant that I should be encouraging good work/life balance. So in my mind moderate consumption of alcohol falls into this description. Don't worry though, I am always encouraging people to eat and not go binge drinking. I naturally like to lead by example.

I've also signed myself up to work in a couple of other areas of the store that are important for our feedback and back room operations. This is mainly to learn a great deal more about the business and challenge myself in new ways. One thing the store doesn't lack is variety, which for those that know me is an excellent thing.

Outside of Apple I am still working my days off for Steve. I am trying to stick to just one day a week for him, so that I don't exceed the 48 hours a week limit that I set recently. This is tricky when I have days off in the week as I feel I'm being lazy. Considering how few hours I used to work this is actually quite hilarious to me. It seems that I have become addicted to working as much as possible. Who would have thought.

Wedding planning is progressing well under Catherine's command. We have sorted almost all the major items and just have a list of many smaller details to sort over the coming weeks. We are really looking forward to seeing everyone here and I am looking forward to a holiday! 

This weekend we are off to Bowral in the Southern Highlands again. It's a beautiful place to visit and is only two hours outside of Sydney. Unfortunately this weekend we will be dragging ourselves around the Tough Mudder circuit, so it won't be relaxing until that's over! Then I have to get back to the store for our quarterly meeting in the evening, so no rest for the wicked.

Catherine has started training for her first ocean swimming event and is overcoming her fear of swimming extremely well. I am slightly jealous that she is improving so well with her swimming and will probably be a better swimmer than me though. I may have to start my own training (because I have so much free time) and see if I can accompany her on her ocean swim. I hope it's not a ladies only event, otherwise I'll have to get a new swimming costume.

I am trying to organise more Skype and FaceTime calls with all you Brit friends. So send me a message on whatsapp or Facebook as to when might be good. I have to plan things a couple of weeks ahead to be able to fit it in around work.

Chat to you all soon,

T :)

Inception

Today I had a day off. I decided that I needed to get some rest after dreaming about work and descending into Inception style daydreams while working at the store. I'm pretty sure they don't want me going nuts whilst explaining iCloud for the 57th time in a day.

Whilst I find it easier to recognise when I'm doing too much it can often be illness that slows you down or makes you stop and take stock. Generally speaking we have a knack of pushing at work, in training and in our social life. It is not often that we sit back and chill in order to balance our lives.

So following a couple of chores this morning I spent an hour down at the beach. It isn't summer yet, but the water is a "refreshing" temperature and clears the head for the day. I have to admit I still think I am going to get bitten by a shark every time I swim in the sea. This is not because surfers and swimmers are bitten every year, because they are still a tiny percentage when compared to all the people that go into the ocean. But it is more to do with watching Jaws as child. It is ludicrous, but the best way to overcome these thoughts is to jump in. I just don't go in at sunrise, sunset or when any fish are jumping about ;)

Catherine has been suffering with headaches recently as a result of overdoing it. She has suffered through them for the last 15 years or more, often silently and just gets on with life. I don't know how she produces such great work with headaches that last a week though, I am a wet fish when I get a headache. Naturally I am the person that tells her to relax, sit and take it easy. After years of experience doing this myself I know that it is the best thing to balance out all the running about and worrying. Obviously I appreciate it isn't as easy for her as she is a super organised worrier, but that's why we work so well as a team. I am the sloth; relaxed, patient and slow to move. She is the squirrel; rushing about, smart and organising everything for the future (I was going to say collecting nuts, but that may have been misconstrued). At the end of the day we bring out the best in each other and balance out the worst. 

With Catherine not been feeling great recently it has made me think about what I am doing. I don't want her suffering and I know that if I am around more I can get her to chill out. Mainly this is achieved by doing the washing up and cleaning so there is very little at home she can do but sit and relax. Unfortunately whilst I have been working lots of hours I haven't been on top of these chores and so C has added them to her already manic schedule. "No more!" I cry. I am now limiting myself to 48 hour weeks, so that I have time off to support the little one (Catherine, not a secret baby FYI), whilst still earning enough to live and save in this incredibly expensive place we call home.

I have stopped writing on my "run sloth run" blog for the time being as I am not running. The marathon season is over as it is too hot to run a good road race and the road events are over until next year now. This means that I have returned to the gym to do some weights and get strong for the wedding in January. As I mentioned before I am supposed to carry C across the threshold after we are married. I fear that this could be dangerous in my current state of "runner fitness" and even more so after a few Jaeger bombs, which I believe may be consumed after speeches have been made. I'm happy to say I've thrown myself back into the weights (all be it gradually) and am currently unable to fully extend my right arm after yesterday's session. I consider this an example of how I have neglected strength training over the last few- ahem - months. No matter though as I will be visiting the gym 4-5 times a week to gradually ease back into Olympic lifting and some more serious training. I'll let you know how I go when I am able to type more than a sentence.

Until then, 

Tom :)

Keeping my marbles

Today is the middle of my week. Having started on Sunday I finish next Friday, with a day off before I get stuck in again. The great thing about working a lot is that you don't really know what day it is and lose control of fairly simple brain functions. For example today I didn't know what day it was, I just knew I had work to get on with. Having finished earlier than expect I had a productive but enjoyable afternoon off. I am now typing this post from the comfort of my local cafe, with a lovely flat white in hand. However on ordering a coffee and sandwich I had a brain blip. When my sarnie arrived it looked to be different to what I had looked at and ordered, but my brain struggled to remember if I had actually ordered what I had looked at or just imagined that I had. Food at Sorelle is always delicious, so I was more than happy with what lay before me, even if my brain was thinking of something else as I ate it.

I've had a few people ask me why I am working two jobs. For those that work in retail you will know the answer to that question immediately. For those that don't let me enlighten you. The pay is average. To be fair it is better where I am than other companies, but it's not a lot when you live in the Eastern Suburbs. After I've paid rent and bills I probably have approximately $150 left per week. From that I will have to take $20-30 for transport, so I'm left with around $120. From this I can easily take $30 a week for my coffee habit (hey nobody is perfect), so I have $90 left to choose what to do with. As I am trying to pay off debts and save for a wedding I can effectively write off at least $50. So all said and done I have $40 to spend on social activities. So after this long arse summary you can appreciate why I need to work an extra two days a week. It's all about the money baby!

I got back to strength training in the gym this week and boy am I feeling it! Well actually today I am fine, but after the first session I knew I was back. I'm keeping things stupidly simple and working on the foundations of core, mobility and flexibility without going nuts on the weights. I want to look after my body a little better now that I am in my 30s and have run 8 marathons. Gradually you realise that you aren't superhuman and that your body needs proper rest and rehab after these big events. Sadly my strength is abysmal, so I am starting back at square one. However I have 3 months in which to get strong for the wedding, apparently I am supposed to carry Catherine across the threshold. At this moment in time she would be better equipped to carry me over the threshold!

Talking about work reminded me that I have just started doing workshops in store. After shadowing two I took my first one on Monday. The funny thing was that I was told it would be an iPhone workshop, perfect for starting off easily. However when it came to setting up for the hour I discovered it was actually a Mac session. Not a problem I thought, they are only beginners. The final hurdle though in this experience was that the new operating system had arrived the day before and was not installed on my lesson MacBook. Aghhhh! Having only got it the night before my knowledge was limited. Never fear though, the Tom talk machine kicked in and I proceeded to teach the session on what I knew, coupled with some learning on the fly in order to teach my attendees. I knew all my bullshit practice would come in handy one day! Thankfully everyone found the lesson informative and enjoyable and my workshop boss was impressed, high fives for me! I will now be part of the regular workshop schedule going  forward, so I hope to only get better from here.

Alright. Enough jabbering, I am off to get ready for a picnic with C at the Domain in the city. It's been awhile since we've done anything social, so here's hoping the weather remains sunny.

Until next time,

T :)

Back to normality

The marathon is over and the season has finished for another year. Not that I've let that interfere with work over the last month (I was a lazy sloth), so the title of this post could be misleading.

Normality over the last four weeks has meant working 6 or 7 days a week, but I am not yet convinced that this is the version of "normal" that I want to repeat. Having failed at getting my sub 3:30 marathon at the weekend it did make me think whether working constantly is worth it. The downsides  of working a lot are fairly obvious; I am tired and grumpy most days (yes more than usual), I have less energy to train and I can't do my house husband duties to the usual standard. The upsides are that I have more money to put towards debt payment/saving, I am making a positive use of my days off in the week and I am less melancholic as I have less time to think.

Fortunately I have had some time to think over the weekend and reflect on the last few weeks. My diagnosis of my current work life balance was this, I work a lot and have no life. So as a direct result I am now going to reduce the extra hours I work outside of Apple and take some time off. In doing this I can still earn extra money towards the "debt problem" (or dp for short), without the downsides of grumpiness, fatigue and possible illness. Also with the extra time afforded by removing a day of work I can focus on the wp (writing problem), which has not had as much time afforded it of late. Character development for the book has come on well, but it needs daily treatment to progress and any thing more than a snails pace.

All in all I am feeling quite chipper post marathon. Apple work is going very well and I have a couple of quarterly goals to achieve. Catherine is enjoying work and hopefully with the new plan I will still be "chipper" when my days off come round, so that we enjoy some time together. More importantly there is not long until the wedding, so I have started writing my speech. I hope it to be a tear jerker (with the help of some onion spray) and a solid reminder as to why I should not be allowed a microphone or free reign to speak.

T :)