It has been weeks since I sat down to write a blog post. As we are well clear of the New Year I thought now would be a good time to tap something out.
In my last post I spoke about writing more in the new year and to all intents and purposes I managed that for a week or two. But my mind is a fickle beast that makes creating a new habit a tougher task than I imagined. I haven't given up, I'm just changing my approach.
I've decided to reduce a few distractions in order to help my brain because I discovered a few things recently. After working 50 hour weeks before Christmas I discovered that when I don't balance out a heavy work load with fun, fitness and rest I end up down the rabbit hole again. When that happens it is more insidious than before (which is a great improvement), so much so that I missed the warning signs until a friend pointed them out to me. Seemingly small things like losing my memory, poor to zero concentration levels, mood swings, loss of balance and tripping over were things I missed in those two weeks before Christmas holiday. Now it's not that I dislike hard work, but my mind can't keep up if my body isn't supported. nor if my brain has no rest either. So now that I have a better understanding of my body, what do I do about it?
Well I have highlighted a few things that help and hinder my depression, it's a list that develops as I work through it, so I'll just lay it out:
Hinders
Alcohol
Lack of sleep/poor sleep due to above
Distractions (social media, news, phone)
Too much sugar
Too much caffeine
Not eating regularly enough
Not enough time on my own
Too much time on my own (I know it's nuts)
Busy places
Big groups
Helps
Meditation
Regular strength training (not running)
Writing
Time with Catherine
Time with friends
Talking
Professional help
A good diet
Time in nature
Swimming in the ocean
Regular work (Just not more than 50 hours a week)
These lists could go on for ages, but this is what comes to mind immediately. It helps me to write this and share with you as it clears some of this shit out of my head and allows a clear space to rein. That's basically how meditation helps me too and why it is at the top of my 'help' list.
The results of this observation and analysis is that I'm about to end Facebook. I've reduced my friends list down to 27 from 140 odd and am about to kill it completely. The reason behind this is so that I don't spend as much time on my phone, have less distractions and don't fill my head with the bullshit that I read on there. Pretty much the reason I stopped watching or reading the news. Most would say that the downside is that I'll lose contact with friends, but I think you are kidding yourself if you think that. The friends I have here I see regularly enough that I don't need to know what they last ate or how they spent their free time. The friends I have back home in England I will speak to on Whatsapp or via the good old fashioned phone. It's not that I don't care about any of these friends, but I really don't need to fill my head with the useless shit that we all post on a social medium that is supposed to bring us closer together. The friends and family I actually want to hear about don't post anything on there, so what is the point? By not having it one of two things will happen. I will either speak to friends more or I will speak to them as little as I do now using Facebook.
The other major observation is how alcohol affects me and disrupts my mental state. I've never been that good with alcohol anyway, but it is clearer that it causes more problems for me than good. So now that our wedding anniversary is over I am off the booze. I originally said that I would give up for a year, so as of January 24th I'm off the sauce and will update you on how it goes each month.
There is probably more I could talk about in this post, but I am going to leave it there for now. My concentration is waning and I'd like to talk more about other things in a post in the next few days.
Until then,
Are you ok?
Tom
