Podcasting bidness

It's been a little busy since I last wrote, but I thought I would sit down and type something out as I have had a busy evening of being creative. Well I've been editing the next episode of the podcast, but I feel that is still creation of a form.

This week I got to sit down for beers with Mr James O'Brien to talk to him about his passions, his pet peeves and how he would create a society that could benefit us all. Needless to say that beer played it's part in lubricating our thoughts and throats, so if you have a boring bus journey and need something for your friday then check it out right here.
Or read through the post and you can listen to it at the end of this post.
For all those podcast keenos I'll have it on iTunes as soon as the lovely people over there authorise it.

I will keep this short as it's late and I have to get some brain sleep (I've given up on the beauty), I've noticed one important thing this week. Time flies. I know I've probably bashed you over the head with it before by telling you about how we need to take action, live for the moment, blaa-dee-blaa-blaa-blaa. But it's true and I'll tell you why. We are lucky to have a comfortable existence. Even if you don't have a lot of money, you are still well off and comfort breeds idleness. I don't mean that you sit on your arse all day watching daytime reruns of Dallas. No I mean that we don't push ourselves to go after what we really want. We may appear to be moving toward a life of our choosing, but we do it very slowly. 

If you were told you had 12 months to live, what action could you take today to move you closer towards your life goals. Barriers would be overcome, mental blockages removed, all because we have no time left. I admit it might be difficult to imagine that you are dying and that you only have a year, but if you take even a moment to think about it I bet you'll gain clarity on at least one problem in your mind. 

For me this began with this blog, then the book I'm writing and now the podcast. All were challenges that I wanted to overcome. They may seem small and inconsequential to you, but in my mind they were barriers to progress. 
In all honesty you probably won't die in a year and you'll live a perfectly happy existence without trying overly hard. You'll probably be reasonably successful and enjoy the fruits of our consumerist society within a pretty safe and stable developed nation. As much as the media wants you to believe we are under threat by terrorists and that the world will end in nuclear war, it probably won't. The world is a dangerous place, granted, but not as dangerous as we have it made out to be. Let's face it, if it was we'd probably all be pursuing our passions, giving two fingers to the government and not working in retail.

Tom :)

“As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.” 

― Seneca

Being creative

Since returning to work at Apple at the Sydney store I have been reminded how many talented people work there. We are blessed with a cacophony of characters, from musicians to photographers and artists to comedians. Often we don't get to see what their passions are whilst working, so I thought it would be great to talk about. My subsequent podcast aims to highlight what my friends' passions are and see if we can learn from them in order to help our mental health.

Although my aim with The Grumpy Man Podcast it is to get people talking about mental health (in a roundabout way) it is enabling me to get to know the friends I work with. As much as we may enjoy what we do, we have a life away from work, a personal side we don't show to just anyone. That is what I am interested in learning about, to understand what fulfils people, what satiates their appetite for life. It has taken me a bloody long time to realise that what I love to do can help other people and the latter has always been my raison d'être. 

I realised when I was editing the first episode of my podcast how much I was enjoying it. I had an excitement about something that I haven't felt in a long time. It's sad to say but I don't get excited about anything in the way I used to. I feel like those rabbits in the Duracell adverts, the ones that have the "other" brand in them. So when something lifts my spirits I take notice. With that in mind I would love to hear from anyone that would like to contribute to the podcast. I just want people to be themselves and talk about their passions, what makes them say "hell yes!"

I'll leave it there for now as I'm making progress on my book and am determined to get it published before I die. 

Tom :)

"Time is precious, momento mori." - Me.

P.S Episode two of the podcast will be out this friday. Stay tuned to hear Michael continue his talk about what he loves.

Mr Michael Hanney

This is just a short post to introduce the first episode of "The Grumpy Man Podcast". My good friend Michael sat down with me last Monday and agreed to be my guinea pig for this foray into the world of podcasting. He was a fantastic guest who spoke with honesty and sincerity and I couldn't have hoped for a better person to speak to. This whole journey is a test to see how I progress and so I am a bit all over the shop in these first recordings.  I haven't edited too much, so that I can hopefully track an improvement in my interviewing style and confidence over the weeks and months ahead. I apologise for anything that doesn't sound quite right on the podcast, that is all my fault as a beginner editing with GarageBand for the first time!

My hope with this podcast as with my writing is to draw a little more light onto mental health and get people talking about it more openly, especially the men out there. Soon I'll have this blog and the podcast on my website, but as it is still a work in progress I will just embed them here. Soon enough I'll submit them to iTunes for ease of subscribing too.

If you would like to share your passions and tools for dealing with mental health then please feel free to contact me at tjalfry@icloud.com

Until next time,

Tom :)


"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius

Podcasting

I've been writing for years now and although I may not be an expert I thought I would develop my skills in another area, namely podcasting. Over the last few months I have been drawn to things that I have an overriding and irrational fear of, as you can imagine this has been a bag of laughs. One of the things I am particularly uncomfortable with is listening to my own voice, namely any recording of my voice. As I have been writing my book to help with mental health I thought it would be useful to also have an audio format for those that don't read real good and stuff. So I am killing two very fat birds with one pebble, here's hoping it works.

Last night was the first recording session for my new podcast "The Grumpy Man". I was joined by my fantastic friend Mr. Michael Hanney at The Barber Shop bar in Sydney's CBD, a chilled venue conveniently located around the corner from where we work. My goal with this podcast is for it to be relaxed and feel as though you are having a drink with friends. Hopefully when you listen you won't just think that we sound like two pissed old men talking shit, but rather that you'll draw similarities with your own experience and situation. My chat with Michael covered a great number of things, but the overriding focus was discovering what each of us do to stay mentally balanced and healthy when suffering with depression or anxiety. I am finishing off editing tomorrow morning, so I hope to have it all released by the weekend. Unfortunately for you we were having a bloody brilliant time and talked a great deal, so this chat will be a two parter! I'll keep you updated here when it is ready and will probably host it on my website www.tomalfry.com which is undergoing some work as we speak.

I plan on having a few other great friends on the show to talk shit and drink beer with me in great venues. If you are interested in telling a little of your story and sharing your own experiences with mental health then please feel free to get in touch at tjalfry@icloud.com. My aim has always been to make it easier for people to talk about depression, especially men who seem about as good at talking as wearing high heel shoes.

I'll leave you with some wisdom from my childhood idol,

Tom :)

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." - Muhammad Ali

Hell yeah!

I read a great piece of advice recently that you can apply to anything in life. It went something like this, unless something makes you go "hell yeah!" say no and don't do it. Too often we agree to do things without thinking them through or against our better judgement i.e our gut feel. We agree to do things at work, for friends and for family that we don't want to do, but feel obligated to help with. We put our energy into something that is the exact opposite of what we should be putting it into. It chips away at us, it slowly degrades our excitement and it causes unnecessary stress. I know because I've done it for years, I'm a master of it. For some reason saying no thank you or declining an opportunity is seen as a negative, when actually we all need to curate our time and output.

Personally this is something I have been working on over several months as it makes me uncomfortable in saying no, in declining an invitation. Yes is built into me because it avoids any conflict (at least in the short term), everyone loves someone that is agreeable. In the past I would say yes to so many things just because they were opportunities. However what I really should be doing is pausing, trusting my gut and taking the time needed to think things through. Then at least I can make a calculated decision that doesn't cause problems down the line.

If we look at the "hell yeah!" process from another angle it makes sense in every way. Too often we end up in jobs doing things that we are good at, possibly even great at. We excel in areas without a thought, with ease and confidence. Yet if someone was to ask us if we enjoyed what we do the answer would probably be indifference. We'd say "I suppose so" or "it's not bad". But would we say "hell yeah!" Just because we are great at something doesn't mean that we love what we do or even that it gives us satisfaction and reward.

I've done a lot of jobs over the years out of boredom, from a need to keep moving and progressing somewhere in life, not ever knowing where that somewhere is. That was always a big part of my depression, I couldn't stick with things that I wasn't excited about and that hurt me. I became good at jobs out of a desire to please other people or because my perfectionism reared it's ugly head. I say the latter in the negative because the only good that comes from it is for others, perfectionists are never happy with their endeavours.

From the outside looking in we see what people are good at but never stop to ask them what they want to do, what they are passionate about. What makes good people great is the self-awareness to play to their strengths whilst developing their weaknesses. They are confident without being dicks, they take on a challenge, but ask for help from those that have mastery in their weak areas. They do what's right for number one first and don't spread themselves too thin helping everyone else.

Like the old saying says "don't judge a book by it's cover." However people present themselves we should remember to read into their story and turn the pages. In doing so we can realise their strengths and weaknesses as well as our own. More importantly we might find out what really matters and discover what makes us say "hell yeah!"

Tom :)

"It's not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It's because we dare not venture that they are difficult." - Seneca

Over the coming weeks I will be investigating ideas and tools in my new podcast with the aim of improving mental health. If you feel like joining me on an episode then drop me a line at tjalfry@icloud.com