I must sound like a broken record each time I post a blog entry nowadays. Talking of how long it has been since my last confession at the church of the latter day grumpy man. But as has always been the case I have always come back to writing when I needed it, or felt I had something worthwhile to share. Perhaps today it is a little of both.
Over recent months I’ve been “busy” with work and the podcast amongst other things. But without a daily structure I’ve let my healthy habits wane and have noticed the old feelings of anxiety and dark thoughts return. Fortunately like a wisened old baboon I have enough self-awareness nowadays to return to the old ways of meditation, writing and exercise in order to rein in this mischievous mind.
One particularly troublesome day this past weekend I was fortunate enough to have a friend to talk to, that understood the feelings of anxiety. He highlighted the need for me to focus on my weak points, to work at structuring my day and completing tasks, not leaving things unfinished, no matter how small they may be. Much like I have done with other areas recently it is about concentrating on those little things and performing them consistently. Small tasks like loading the dishwasher, making the bed or completing a long overdue job are the starting point.
So I began Sunday evening with the simple things by tidying my tool room a.k.a the spare room. Then I planned my day off with diary entries for the tasks I needed to complete. This was as much to hold myself accountable as it was to avoid the anxiety of free time that I have felt lately. The immediate satisfaction of clearing out and organising my things left me feeling much more relaxed for the evening and reminded me how simple it is to change this fickle mind. The next day I got a ton of tasks done, whilst still enjoying my day off and without feeling anxious at all.
The last couple of days has demonstrated how easy it can be to control my anxiety. By controlling the small tasks and planning my days I have seen immediate relief. When it comes to my depression it is also straightforward; I just need to read, write, eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, talk openly, meditate, learn and grow and play. Straightforward really.
As I was off last week I have only produced a short podcast episode which you can listen to via Soundcloud or via the Podcast app on your iPhone (The Two Faced Man). This Friday I’ll have a new episode up and I’ll fill you in on my progress then.
Until then keep up your own action and have a fine week,
Tom :)
