Hell yeah!

I read a great piece of advice recently that you can apply to anything in life. It went something like this, unless something makes you go "hell yeah!" say no and don't do it. Too often we agree to do things without thinking them through or against our better judgement i.e our gut feel. We agree to do things at work, for friends and for family that we don't want to do, but feel obligated to help with. We put our energy into something that is the exact opposite of what we should be putting it into. It chips away at us, it slowly degrades our excitement and it causes unnecessary stress. I know because I've done it for years, I'm a master of it. For some reason saying no thank you or declining an opportunity is seen as a negative, when actually we all need to curate our time and output.

Personally this is something I have been working on over several months as it makes me uncomfortable in saying no, in declining an invitation. Yes is built into me because it avoids any conflict (at least in the short term), everyone loves someone that is agreeable. In the past I would say yes to so many things just because they were opportunities. However what I really should be doing is pausing, trusting my gut and taking the time needed to think things through. Then at least I can make a calculated decision that doesn't cause problems down the line.

If we look at the "hell yeah!" process from another angle it makes sense in every way. Too often we end up in jobs doing things that we are good at, possibly even great at. We excel in areas without a thought, with ease and confidence. Yet if someone was to ask us if we enjoyed what we do the answer would probably be indifference. We'd say "I suppose so" or "it's not bad". But would we say "hell yeah!" Just because we are great at something doesn't mean that we love what we do or even that it gives us satisfaction and reward.

I've done a lot of jobs over the years out of boredom, from a need to keep moving and progressing somewhere in life, not ever knowing where that somewhere is. That was always a big part of my depression, I couldn't stick with things that I wasn't excited about and that hurt me. I became good at jobs out of a desire to please other people or because my perfectionism reared it's ugly head. I say the latter in the negative because the only good that comes from it is for others, perfectionists are never happy with their endeavours.

From the outside looking in we see what people are good at but never stop to ask them what they want to do, what they are passionate about. What makes good people great is the self-awareness to play to their strengths whilst developing their weaknesses. They are confident without being dicks, they take on a challenge, but ask for help from those that have mastery in their weak areas. They do what's right for number one first and don't spread themselves too thin helping everyone else.

Like the old saying says "don't judge a book by it's cover." However people present themselves we should remember to read into their story and turn the pages. In doing so we can realise their strengths and weaknesses as well as our own. More importantly we might find out what really matters and discover what makes us say "hell yeah!"

Tom :)

"It's not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It's because we dare not venture that they are difficult." - Seneca

Over the coming weeks I will be investigating ideas and tools in my new podcast with the aim of improving mental health. If you feel like joining me on an episode then drop me a line at tjalfry@icloud.com