Moody blues

Next Monday I go on holiday for 8 days. Before that I have the small matter of a marathon to run. This week I still have 3 days of work (if you can call it that) to go.

Throughout our lives we have goals set up to achieve and barriers to overcome. The goals can be as simple as a holiday or as big as a marathon. The barriers are whatever we choose to throw up against ourselves, what we allow our minds to fabricate and exaggerate. Work is one, whilst our own minds are often the biggest hurdle to overcome. Our internal dialogue can keep us wrapped up in our alleged inadequacies for so long that we never act.

I you've never suffered from doubt, worry and feelings of hopelessness then you are in the lucky few. I have been extremely fortunate in life with the support of my family and a loving girlfriend. My family supported me (in more ways than one) when I was 19 in becoming a fitness instructor and later at 20 to become a personal trainer. Getting a job in fitness helped me to develop into a confident, outgoing and positive person. Whether that was what I felt or not is another question! My girlfriend has then stuck by me as I've ridden a roller-coaster journey of emotions, debts and life seeking. Barriers that I created and made myself suffer for.

Why do I tell you this?

Well I've recently started writing a book. I've always loved writing and have used it over the years to help overcome depression and self loathing. Powerful words you might say, but that's just honesty. You have to crack the nut to know what's really inside and I am a hard nut to crack.

My book is a story about mental illness. Specifically it covers depression, Bipolar and Alzheimer's in a story that contains both light and dark humour. The reason to write it is to help my own dark moods and my personal experience of
depression, dementia and suicide.

It is to highlight how many people (especially men) keep their feelings to themselves to protect their masculinity and to avoid being seen as weak. Unfortunately this can lead to depression or worse. The mental health charity mind are currently highlighting this in their efforts to combat the stigmatism of mental illnesses of all types.

Now this wasn't meant to be a negative blog post, rather an admission to whoever may read this that it's OK. It's OK to feel as you do, to feel low, hopeless and useless. BUT, don't cover it with a facade of confidence, a "macho" suit or fake smile. Just talk or write down what you are feeling. Get over the bullshit that you are strong enough to cope and get on with letting go of your negativity. At the end of the day it's in your head and as you may have heard before,

"whether you think you can or you can't, you're right."

So start believing you can and get others to help you. When it starts to affect your daily life that's just the beginning of a slippery slope. I've been there and am always battling it. But with the support of my girlfriend and family I'm moving away from the moody blues.

Stay happy, stay healthy.

T :-)





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone