The 5 things changing my life

I must preface this post by saying that my wife Catherine is a huge force in helping me change my life. Although I haven't included her in the five life changers below it is not because she doesn't deserve to be, but just because you can't have her! The following list is here to help you as the contents have helped me and continue to do so. Catherine although amazing will not be able to fly around the world to help you out, she's my BWE*. Ok onwards, I hope you enjoy the read. (*Best wife ever)

Five life changers

1. Meditation

The idea for this post came to after my morning ritual of meditating. I know I bang on about meditating, but for something so simple it really has some great benefits that everyone could do with. Schools around the world are including it in their lessons (much like mine did 20+ years ago) to help kids develop a tool that will help them throughout their lives. However this practice is ancient and by no means a modern "fad" that will come and go. Science can now prove through the use of MRI that meditating daily for a period of 6-8 weeks can reduce the brain activity in areas associated with stress and anxiety. For me it has been a gift that I can use to calm my mind when practiced regularly and gives me the knowledge that I have control over my brain, not the other way around. The latter is more powerful than anything because for someone with depression it is a tool of action that can be used immediately and very quickly produce results. Without further ado take three minutes out of your day and try this simple meditation below. It is one of my favourites as it helps me "check in" with my brain and make it take a bloody holiday from itself.

Three minute Breathing Space meditation


2. Routine

I actually wrote this out as number one when planning this post because it has made such a difference to my mental health in the last few weeks that I have been practicing it. Now I am not a naturally organised or disciplined person. I like to think I am fairly relaxed, free thinking and creative. However I refuse to accept that we are born a certain way when it comes to which side of the brain is more dominant in our thinking. In my research into the brain I have learnt a great deal about the brain's ability to repair itself and adapt at any stage of life. Yes it takes hard work, but it is not impossible as many would have you believe. That is where routine is the King of change. In order to produce consistent results in a new habit or when learning a new skill it is routine which will enable success. Motivation alone cannot get you your goals, you need routine to ensure that you get out of bed at 5:30am everyday, do your meditation, educate yourself and train before you go to work for ten hours. For creative types routine may seem mundane and a killer for their "organic" process, but it is through consistent balanced effort that you actually develop your skills. Without further ado here is my morning routine:

• 5:30 wake up and put kettle on (I am British), brush teeth
• 5:30-5:35 mobility exercises whilst making tea (I'm not getting younger)
• 5:35-5:50 meditation from Mindfulness book
• 5:50-6:00 write a page (normally exceed this!)
• 6:00-6:10 read a minimum of three pages (small goals = frequent small wins)
• 6:10-6:20 handstands and warmup exercises (just for fun and to get the blood pumping)
• 6:20-6:30 breakfast
• 6:30-6:40 leave for work.

In the last week I have found this routine massively improves my mood and sets me up with a feeling of accomplishment at the beginning of the day. In other words I am ready to take on the world! You should try it, seriously it's the shizzle.

3. Healthy Habits

I have momentarily forgotten what I meant by this. Ah yes ok I've got it. I think when I was having this great idea that I meant small habits that have multiple beneficial outcomes. For example I have been focusing on stretching this week for 5 minutes a day. I use an app called Habit List to help remind me and track when I have and haven't completed the tasks on it. The idea with the stretching is to make it small enough that it isn't a big deal. Anyone can stretch for 5 minutes right?! I can do that whilst my dinner is cooking in the oven and because 5 minutes is such a small amount I am more likely to exceed it. But if I don't then it doesn't matter because I've achieved what I set out to do. When creating these new healthy habits I have found the POP (piece of piss) technique to be the most effective. When it is so easy that you can do it everyday you are much more likely to develop that new habit into a powerful change in your life. Plus 5 minutes every day is 35 minutes a week more than I am doing now, so you can see how it will add up. 

Here's what my current habit list looks like:

 

As you can see most (but not all) of my habits are specific and small targets i.e. 5 minute mobility warm up, 3 handstands, 3 minute meditation etc.

Some are too general (I will be rectifying this immediately after I finish here) such as writing research and foam roll. If they are not really specific then it is too easy to cop out early and be "loose" when undertaking them.

There's fun habits in there as well as serious ones that help me change as a person because if it's not fun and adds excitement then I may truly go nuts.

Check out Habit List here: Easy habit maker

4. Writing

As you may know I have written for years, but it is only really within the last year that I have discovered the huge impact it can have on my mental health. In it's simplest form I use it to offload the shit stuff in my head and free up space to let my brain be creative. As I have learnt over the last year I actually enjoy the physical act of putting pen to paper and there is a huge amount of stuff I write that I will never publish, it just brings me joy. I know that it is easy for me to write and that may not be the case for everybody. But if you noticed on my habit list I have one to write a page a day. This is for two reasons, one is to help me finish my book before the end of the year and the other is so that I can write more and thus develop my craft. However one page is easy for anyone not just me. So I encourage you to use it to note how you feel in that moment, how you felt during your day, conflicts you encountered and wins that you had. It is a great way of ridding yourself of pointless negative chatter in your head and will help you see it more rationally if it's on paper where you can read it. If you can't talk about your problems then please write it down, it may just help.

5. Exercise

Some of you may know that I am a qualified personal trainer (no sham fitness advice from me!) so I know the benefits of regular exercise. However if Carlsberg did personal trainers I would probably be the laziest of them all (oblique reference there). Most people wrongly assume that I must be really fit and find training easy. This is far from true. My favourite X-Men character is Wolverine and I would happily say that I am much like him. Not the Adamantium skeleton, the claws, the ability to regenerate after being wounded or his immense strength. No I am more like the grumpy, angry Logan that enjoys shots of alcohol and being left alone by the muppets of the world. Yes that is most definitely me. So going to the gym is not my number one pastime. However I know it's good for me especially lifting heavy weights, which release a few chemicals into my bloodstream that help my brain to shutup for five minutes. Running can also help, but I have to run fast enough that I feel pretty uncomfortable and my head doesn't have space to think of anything but preventing my heart from jumping from my chest. In a long winded way what I am trying to tell you is that you should take some exercise whether you like it or not. You don't need to run or go to the gym, just find some activity that raises your heart rate for an extended period of time. Yes sex could be one, although you'd need to be able to go for a long enough time period to have a beneficial effect. Having said that you could employ the Tabata Protocol (20 seconds on, 10 seconds rest) if you struggle in this department. Just saying. Simply put pick a fun activity that you will want to do regularly and go and do it "little and often". No need for 2 hour long sessions in the gym unless you bloody well work there or are a professional athlete/bodybuilder. 

Here's my training aims at the moment:

Monday: Gymnastic Bodies stretch program at home.

Tuesday: Interval run training 20-40 minutes

Wednesday: GB stretch program

Thursday: 10km mixed run of different speeds

Friday: GB stretch program

Saturday: Gym/acrobatic training

Sunday: Long run 14km+ and acrobatic training

Now the reality this last week was a lot different and I probably achieved about 20% of what I wanted. Fortunately I am working a physical job at the moment, so that helps, but I have been lax. Learn from the master of mistakes (don't call me MOM) and go for a small realistic goal with your training. 

Conclusion

I get carried away when writing, so I apologise if this was longer than you'd hoped. But I am passionate about these things and that is what helps me get through my days. If you are struggling with your mind, stressed at work, lost in life then maybe it's time to help yourself and use some of these tools. You have the power to change yourself, just start small and take a step.

Tom :)