Patience

Over the years I have developed a level of patience that sometimes even surprises me. For the most part however this is when dealing with other people, because when it comes to being patient with myself I am still learning.

I have worked with people from all walks of life through several different jobs over the years. There have been times when I've been frustrated by others, but I've kept my mouth shut and given them the space they've needed to complete their task. When training others I could see how life gets in the way of learning at times and that is ok. We often set lofty goals for ourselves when we are full of motivation, but it's when we have no "oomph" that we learn and develop the most (hopefully). Having patience in ourselves at these moments is key to a balanced mind and life.

What I have seen more recently is that I can be as patient with myself as I can with others. As I am learning new skills or taking action towards creating new work, I can be content and not feel rushed. This is something very important to me. For years I have rushed myself to get "somewhere" or do "something", thinking that I am wasting my life by not finding the one "thing" that will change my life and others. But in all honesty as I become more patient with myself I realise that I am doing enough. I know that friends and family have told me such over the years, but that has never been enough to satisfy my own mind. Perhaps as I've taken control of my head I have started to see what they might in myself.

One example of playing the long game and having patience is my writing. I love to write and have been writing everyday for the past 40 days. I chose to make this a new habit as the practice of writing gives me a great mind release and helps me in being more creative at work. Over these last 40 days I have enjoyed writing for my two books with the knowledge that it will take months or years to complete them. Having patience when my creativity isn't there is important because it is in the consistency with this new habit that I improve. I will make mistakes. I will write pieces that are crap or don't read particularly well. But because I can be patient with myself I know that as long as I take on feedback I will improve and that is my raison d'être.

By being patient with myself and accepting things as they are, not how my brain wants to see them, I have more time and head space to make my choices. Rather than worry and get anxious I can now breathe and take some time to just sit. I have begun to get out of my head, away from what my brain has done for so long and not think. I am living more in the present each day rather than being consumed with "what ifs" and thoughts of what could have been. That to me is the best result for what I set out for last year.

Conclusion
Patience is a skill like any other, it can be learnt and developed. But to improve both your self-patience and calm with others you have to endure some testing times. It is a practice that you must do everyday if you are going to change, but an easy one to take action on.
Personally I focus on it most when I am waiting in line for something and I feel anxious or in a rush. In these moments I just focus on my breathe and remind myself that there is no rush. It is through weathering the feelings and thoughts that my brain creates and accepting them just as they are that I can relax. It doesn't make the stress or worry go away it just means it doesn't affect me as much if at all. It won't kill me, so I don't get caught up in it.
Practicing in these daily, small situations will help you improve your patience in other more stressful areas of your life. You can't run before you can walk and so it is with a skill like patience. It takes a moment to learn but a lifetime to master, so we best get practicing!

Tom :)