Progession

There are many positives to come out of my depression for which I am extremely grateful for. From the help from friends to the talks with those in the same boat. Accepting I have a problem has opened up the huge opportunity to enact a change in my brain and for that I am thankful to the Gremlins in my head.

Friends from all over have been supportive and kind since I first blogged about my depression. There are specifically a handful of people that have surpassed all the rest and those people I will thank in person when I see them. They contacted me every week to check in and see how I was and that helped more than I can put into words. Old friendships have renewed and with their practical help I’ve been able to add to the tools I use to combat my negativity and change my brain for the better, so thank you to you guys too. 

Over the weeks I have spoken to friends that suffer with depression and I’ve had some great conversations. Most of the time it is just refreshing to talk to a friend that understands what you are feeling, someone that doesn’t judge you and doesn't need to ask questions. They just get it and often that is more restorative than any other therapy. As much as opening up and talking is useful I have spoken lately of “right talk” where you talk to the right people (safe people) about the right things. This means not having to explain what you are going through to every Tom, Dick and Harry, but telling the people that matter (or that you feel safe with) how you really are. It also means not revelling in those feelings, but using that opportunity to talk to move forwards.

Since I decided to do something about my brain I have progressed by researching different methods from Meditation to CBT. I have armed myself with an arsenal of tools with which to combat the negative self talk, feelings of sadness and hopelessness. It is a daily practice for me to concentrate on, which at times can be tiring, but ultimately keeps me in a calm, contented balance. There is no magic bullet, I may have an episode like a few months ago again. But I can change my brain, the way I think and how I react to situations in life. 

Like any change it takes dedication and consistency, it is hard work to change habits that you have formed over years. So if you are in a similar boat then prepare yourself to knuckle down, concentrate and get your shit sorted. It will require that you remove yourself from negative relationships, abandon activities and focus on creating a balance your life. But you can enact a change in the way you think, your beliefs and your thinking errors. Don’t be afraid to ask for professional help and do your research, treat it as an experiment with one tool at a time. You may want to start writing down a journal so that you can keep track of these feelings and what you are trying out. If it helps you can always write me an email and ask anything you want. 

I saw the psychologist yesterday and was able to tell her that I survived my 55 hour work week on the deck project and had even used some of the tools to get me out of a funk. This was after 8 sessions of therapy, 8 weeks of meditation and numerous hours of talking. Let me put it this way, I have only just begun to improve. I am hyper aware of my mind now and so I can catch myself before I fall, but like I said before I have to do this everyday. I still have a long way to go to get to where I think I should be, but I am confident of this much, I can change myself. So can you if you want to.

Are you ok?