Recovery road

These last couple of weeks have been truly amazing. Since my pep talk from my friend Andrew I have taken some consistent action on everything from my attitude involving work to my approach to training. My excitement levels have risen and I've been thinking in a much more proactive way. It feels the strangest thing because for the first time in a long time I feel that I am in control. Even more exciting is that I am going to do everything I can to enjoy the life I've got.

This kind of acrobatics.

Over the weekend I had a great time. Not only did I get to spend time with my wife (still sounds weird saying that!) but I also read a little, wrote a little, ate a lot, listened to a long podcast and did some acrobatics (see right). Oh and I got to see the new X-Men film. All in all a busy, yet relaxing weekend.

On Sunday morning after dropping some timber off at a client's home I grabbed a coffee and a vanilla doughnut from Pasticceria Papa. I settled into the driver's seat of Alf Stewart (the ute) and read the latest New Scientist. For 30 minutes I was in heaven, although that could've been the two shots of caffeine and a diabetes inducing doughnut. Nevertheless it felt great to do something as simple as sit and read, without pressure from my own mind that I was being lazy. I think after working 55 hours last week I could happily tell my mind where to go with that thought! For me there is a necessity just to sit and read, to stop and slow down my mind and body. When I don't get to do this I feel rushed and I resent what takes me away from this simple part of my day. So don't get in my way people!

It is a big deal for me to write and say that I haven't felt the anxiety of previous weeks over the last two weekends. If I'm being honest it makes me a little teary to say that I haven't felt like life is empty. It is a great thing. It shows me that I've reached another level in my recovery and changed a little more. I can still think of how I felt a year ago and at times within the last 12 months since. I don't think that deep feeling of sadness, hopelessness and fatigue with life can ever be forgotten. Nor should it. Whatever stage people find themselves within mental illness they should always be reminded of how far they have come and why they should carry on to move forwards. I certainly don't want to forget as it is motivating me to get up earlier and get training done, get my book writing completed and enjoy life to the full.

As per usual with these update posts I don't know where I was headed. There probably was no goal other than to write and tell you how I am doing. I'm trying to reach out and help others with what I am continuing to learn, but some times I just need to write about me and be a selfish prick for a moment. Ok... that was the moment.

In conclusion I just want to ask you to do one thing this week. Take time to do one thing that you enjoy, whether it be drinking a coffee or reading a book. Whether it's alone or with friends, just make sure you do that one thing that makes you sigh and say, "this shit isn't too bad after all".

Tom :)