Mr Michael Hanney

This is just a short post to introduce the first episode of "The Grumpy Man Podcast". My good friend Michael sat down with me last Monday and agreed to be my guinea pig for this foray into the world of podcasting. He was a fantastic guest who spoke with honesty and sincerity and I couldn't have hoped for a better person to speak to. This whole journey is a test to see how I progress and so I am a bit all over the shop in these first recordings.  I haven't edited too much, so that I can hopefully track an improvement in my interviewing style and confidence over the weeks and months ahead. I apologise for anything that doesn't sound quite right on the podcast, that is all my fault as a beginner editing with GarageBand for the first time!

My hope with this podcast as with my writing is to draw a little more light onto mental health and get people talking about it more openly, especially the men out there. Soon I'll have this blog and the podcast on my website, but as it is still a work in progress I will just embed them here. Soon enough I'll submit them to iTunes for ease of subscribing too.

If you would like to share your passions and tools for dealing with mental health then please feel free to contact me at tjalfry@icloud.com

Until next time,

Tom :)


"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius

Podcasting

I've been writing for years now and although I may not be an expert I thought I would develop my skills in another area, namely podcasting. Over the last few months I have been drawn to things that I have an overriding and irrational fear of, as you can imagine this has been a bag of laughs. One of the things I am particularly uncomfortable with is listening to my own voice, namely any recording of my voice. As I have been writing my book to help with mental health I thought it would be useful to also have an audio format for those that don't read real good and stuff. So I am killing two very fat birds with one pebble, here's hoping it works.

Last night was the first recording session for my new podcast "The Grumpy Man". I was joined by my fantastic friend Mr. Michael Hanney at The Barber Shop bar in Sydney's CBD, a chilled venue conveniently located around the corner from where we work. My goal with this podcast is for it to be relaxed and feel as though you are having a drink with friends. Hopefully when you listen you won't just think that we sound like two pissed old men talking shit, but rather that you'll draw similarities with your own experience and situation. My chat with Michael covered a great number of things, but the overriding focus was discovering what each of us do to stay mentally balanced and healthy when suffering with depression or anxiety. I am finishing off editing tomorrow morning, so I hope to have it all released by the weekend. Unfortunately for you we were having a bloody brilliant time and talked a great deal, so this chat will be a two parter! I'll keep you updated here when it is ready and will probably host it on my website www.tomalfry.com which is undergoing some work as we speak.

I plan on having a few other great friends on the show to talk shit and drink beer with me in great venues. If you are interested in telling a little of your story and sharing your own experiences with mental health then please feel free to get in touch at tjalfry@icloud.com. My aim has always been to make it easier for people to talk about depression, especially men who seem about as good at talking as wearing high heel shoes.

I'll leave you with some wisdom from my childhood idol,

Tom :)

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." - Muhammad Ali

Hell yeah!

I read a great piece of advice recently that you can apply to anything in life. It went something like this, unless something makes you go "hell yeah!" say no and don't do it. Too often we agree to do things without thinking them through or against our better judgement i.e our gut feel. We agree to do things at work, for friends and for family that we don't want to do, but feel obligated to help with. We put our energy into something that is the exact opposite of what we should be putting it into. It chips away at us, it slowly degrades our excitement and it causes unnecessary stress. I know because I've done it for years, I'm a master of it. For some reason saying no thank you or declining an opportunity is seen as a negative, when actually we all need to curate our time and output.

Personally this is something I have been working on over several months as it makes me uncomfortable in saying no, in declining an invitation. Yes is built into me because it avoids any conflict (at least in the short term), everyone loves someone that is agreeable. In the past I would say yes to so many things just because they were opportunities. However what I really should be doing is pausing, trusting my gut and taking the time needed to think things through. Then at least I can make a calculated decision that doesn't cause problems down the line.

If we look at the "hell yeah!" process from another angle it makes sense in every way. Too often we end up in jobs doing things that we are good at, possibly even great at. We excel in areas without a thought, with ease and confidence. Yet if someone was to ask us if we enjoyed what we do the answer would probably be indifference. We'd say "I suppose so" or "it's not bad". But would we say "hell yeah!" Just because we are great at something doesn't mean that we love what we do or even that it gives us satisfaction and reward.

I've done a lot of jobs over the years out of boredom, from a need to keep moving and progressing somewhere in life, not ever knowing where that somewhere is. That was always a big part of my depression, I couldn't stick with things that I wasn't excited about and that hurt me. I became good at jobs out of a desire to please other people or because my perfectionism reared it's ugly head. I say the latter in the negative because the only good that comes from it is for others, perfectionists are never happy with their endeavours.

From the outside looking in we see what people are good at but never stop to ask them what they want to do, what they are passionate about. What makes good people great is the self-awareness to play to their strengths whilst developing their weaknesses. They are confident without being dicks, they take on a challenge, but ask for help from those that have mastery in their weak areas. They do what's right for number one first and don't spread themselves too thin helping everyone else.

Like the old saying says "don't judge a book by it's cover." However people present themselves we should remember to read into their story and turn the pages. In doing so we can realise their strengths and weaknesses as well as our own. More importantly we might find out what really matters and discover what makes us say "hell yeah!"

Tom :)

"It's not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It's because we dare not venture that they are difficult." - Seneca

Over the coming weeks I will be investigating ideas and tools in my new podcast with the aim of improving mental health. If you feel like joining me on an episode then drop me a line at tjalfry@icloud.com

RMR (really mean rabbit?)

Really mean rabbits aside the above acronym actually means resting metabolic rate and I had it tested today, the results were interesting to say the least.

  It might not make much sense to you, but the top table is the one to focus on. The figure of 2,578 kcals a day is what I should be eating just at pure rest. The figure of 3,764 kcals a day is what I should be consuming in order to function effectively at my current activity level.

I can pretty much guarantee that I am not eating anywhere near enough calories. Even on my current keto diet I'm hitting closer to 2,800 per day. To say I am on keto is a little lie as it has become more like a low carbohydrate (carb) diet now. Especially since I've incorporated a little more of the good stuff this week in order to sleep better. If you didn't know carbs are a great source of seratonin, a neurotransmitter that helps with sleep, mood and appetite. It seems like I'm finding excuses for carbs, but the amounts I've eaten have been small, honest!

As well as the test I had a consultation afterward with the exercise scientist Matthew. Other than the need to increase my daily calorie intake he showed me that the keto may not be working. What you can't see on this photo is that 96.8% of my calories during the test came from carbohydrates. This is more than annoying because if keto was proving to be successful then the calories would be coming from my fat stores. I won't fully pass judgement on keto until after my body fat scan in a week, but I will be changing the macro nutrient percentages going forwards. After consultation with Matthew I am going to change those amounts to 25% carbs, 35% protein and 45% fats. I'll keep you updated on my progress in the coming weeks. Photos of cheat meals to follow ;)

Today I have been relatively busy trying to finish off the editing of my first podcast, which will go live on my website soon. This blog will also move to that site soon too, just as soon as I finish off all the other components! I'll tell you one thing though, recording a podcast is much harder than writing. I know I should probably edit these posts a little more, but if I did I'd never publish anything. That my friends has been the problem with the podcast, listening to your voice is painful to say the least and I've spent hours repeating parts to get it right. Nevertheless I will soon have a short weekly podcast to go along with this blog. It will be covering tools to help improve mental health, everything from nutrition to meditation and fitness training. Let me know if you have any tools that you use or topics to discuss, soon enough I'll be looking for people to interview!

Right I'm off to eat more calories, catch you tomorrow friends!

Tom :)

"If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favourable" - Seneca

What I learnt from coffee and Alpacas

Today I was reminded that coffee isn't always my friend, especially when I consume two of the fuckers before 9am and then stand in one spot until the afternoon. But hopefully this is one of those occasions when I actually learn from my mistakes. I am going to cut the caffeine down from tomorrow onwards, after all nobody needs a twitchy Tom. But what did you learn from the bloody Alpacas! Well they take a great photo don't they?!

This morning during my hour long cycle with Gavin around Centennial Park we talked about the benefits of exercise on the mind and why it is so important to do something regularly. However I may have taken this conversation a little far when I ran intervals for an hour after work. As I write this I am waiting for the full feeling to return to my limbs. Thankfully I am proper knackered and mega chilled after all this exercise, so I'm looking forward to my day off tomorrow.

After eating a large dinner I am ready for the resting metabolic rate (RMR) test that I have booked tomorrow. As I can't eat for a minimum of five hours beforehand I made sure I consumed a decent amount and will be enjoying a nice lie in. That way I will only have a few hours of not eating before the test and then a decent lunch straight after. This RMR test along with the body fat scans I have done recently will help me to determine the best way to eat for my mind and body. I love testing things out on myself not only to help myself but also other people. After all we are individuals with very different biochemistry and not sheep that can eat the same diet. There is no better way to find what works for you than use science and a good experiment. I'll let you know what the results are from tomorrow.

Following the RMR test will be my second body fat scan to see if the Keto diet I have been doing (which may have developed just to low carb) has had a positive effect. I'm hoping to see a small reduction in my body fat, which is currently sat at 14.5% and the largest I've been in a number of years. Despite this my muscle mass has actually increased on previous years, so I may be fatter but I'm not losing muscle like many do as they get older. If I can see some reduction in bodyfat then I know I am on the right lines with this way of eating because I feel the best I have in months.

Anyhow I best leave as I am off to dream of doughnuts, pizza and other carbs that I can't eat.

Until tomorrow!

Tom :)

"Eat to train, don't train to eat." - some clever bastard.

What day is it?

The last month since I tapped out a blog post has passed in a blur and I don't really know where it went. On a few occasions I have sat down in front of the computer but I've been at a loss as to what I wanted to write. Each time staring blankly at the screen in a daze before closing the lid on my efforts.
A podcast I listen to this week though reminded me of the importance of consistency and what can happen if we stick with it.

All to often we might create a healthy habit in order to fix a problem yet abandon it when we feel good. Once out of the newly developed routine we quickly fall back into old habits, after all it's easy after years of learning that. It's a frustrating experience and one that we go through time and time again, just think about all those new year's resolutions!

Personally what I have found over the last year is that unless something is stupidly easy to do everyday I won't do it. As my Dad always says "with the best will in the world" it ain't going to happen! All too often I set out with great plans of what I will do, yet get bored, distracted or just move onto something else before any real success is produced. So in order to achieve results I actually have to break things down to small achievable actions. By small I mean tiny, as simple as brushing your teeth (although even that seems to be a struggle for me). Something that you can wake up and do before your brain says, "hang on there's this easier habit you've done for the last 20 years..."

My inconsistent writing is something that I guilt trip myself about all the time. I will generally only write when I have the TV off (I'm a man and have the attention span of a Red Setter on acid), so when I sit down to watch some Iron Fist writing takes a back seat. Or I try and write in front of the TV, error. On this occasion I have prised myself away from watching my programmes in order to write a few lines. The reason I do this is because unless I sacrifice a little time each day to invest in writing I won't actually get any better at it. Nor will there be a cathartic effect unless I am consistent. I may not have goals of being a best selling author, but I like my mind feeling a little more "stable" and a little less "stabby".

I have no idea where I was going with this post, so forgive me. What I must do now is simply type a bit each day, because it is a free form of Prozac to me. With that in mind I'll leave you with a quote from someone much wiser and more historic than myself, in the hope that you too might keep plugging away with whatever you are working on.

Tom :)

"We are what we consistently do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

Fitness and the mind

I wrote a great little piece whilst sitting on the beach the other morning and was excited to share it in a blogpost with you. But as often happens I read it back to myself later and decided it was crap and didn't really have any helpful content. So as always I've returned to the drawing board that is my keyboard to tap out an impromptu post about the last few days.

Over the last few weeks I have been using a chest heart rate monitor in combination with an app called EliteHRV to monitor my internal stress levels. The app takes the data from the HR monitor and tracks the heart rate variability (HRV). HRV is the "measured changes of time intervals between successive heart beats". It is focused on the small fluctuations of the heart rate as opposed to heart rate (HR) which averages the number of beats per minute. These small fluctuations are in response to internal and external events, so they provide an accurate picture of what is occurring inside our bodies.

What does this mean?

In essence if we monitor HRV we can train intelligently by responding to what is happening inside us. I would say that most of us stick to a rigid training plan or just go on how we feel (very subjective). Using something like EliteHRV (there are other apps out there) we can look at the data and adjust our training/daily lives to manage our recovery and make the most of our 10/10 days.

I have been using it for several weeks now after my friend Cj Swaby recommended it to me. Before testing HRV I record my mood via Grid Diary so I can cross reference the two. When I feel great and excited to train is often the time when the data is telling me to take recovery, to stretch and focus on breathing exercises. On the other hand I was convinced this morning that I would need to take a rest day after two heavy days of training. I had woken up after a long sleep and didn't feel super energised. However I recorded my best data of the week and so I'm happy to cycle into work after a swim session this morning.

Aside from this amazing feedback I am fascinated by how the hard training on good days has helped my brain. I felt amazing all of yesterday after a morning of 2-3 hours cardio training. I'll admit my brain was a little rusty, but nothing out of the ordinary after that amount of work. My good mood lasted well past my 8pm shift and into the evening when I am usually Mr. Grumpy. For me this is more important than anything else and is something I will monitor with my mood tracking in Grid Diary. I have always known the benefits of exercise on the mind, but in combination with a tool as effective as EliteHRV it takes the guess work out of training and helps you balance the stresses we place on our bodies everyday.

I would highly recommend you invest in a heart rate strap (see EliteHRV website for the monitors that record the raw data) and start using the app. I am not sponsored by them, but have seen the benefits of intelligent training using their creation. It's science wrapped up in an easy to use app, so let's all start looking after ourselves properly.

Tom :)