Meditating is my medicine

As the title suggests I have begun an eight week programme of meditation from the book Mindfulness. Meditation has now been shown to be as effective as anti-depressants at treating depression. That's a big statement, but one the book will back up for me. Meditation is now one of the preferred methods recommended by the UK's National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. Many people have used meditation for years, but with MRI we are able to see the evidence of the effectiveness of this tool. 

That is what meditation means to me, it is a tool to help me calm the negative chatter and focus on living in the present. It is not the first time I have come across it, I was introduced by a teacher in primary school that saw the benefits in the late 80's. Perhaps the benefits were more for her as we were a rowdy class of boys and this was a strategy to get us to shut up for a bit. But I still remember sitting in class with my eyes closed, focussing on my breathing. Strange really because I haven't thought of that for years, but it is like yesterday now. The most recent time was here in Australia when Catherine and I were part of a group of great people practicing yoga as part of a 40 day transformation. Other than practicing six days a week, we looked into meditation, diet and our own attitudes and beliefs. It was a confronting, but awesome experience. Needless to say I was crap at doing the meditation. I didn't commit fully to the 40 day transformation, so I got out what I put in, a great workout and amazing friends. 

Fast forward to today. I am confronted by my own walls. Walls that I have kept up successfully for years. Walls which are habits created through a need to keep a burden from those closest to me. Walls that hide my real self and present what I want people to see. I'm not about to just tear those walls down, because I have got used to the security they offer. But I've had a few too many realisations in the last month not to start the process and sharing is part of that. The meditation is the tool to keep it all rational and make sure I don't fall down the rabbit hole. There is an urgent need for meditation that I didn't have before. It's easy for me to see why I don't have consistency in a lot of things in my life, because there is no need, no urgent cause to. Now however I do have that need. It has boiled down to the basics. I have to live. I have to dispense with the unnecessary, remove the stress and get down to the nitty gritty to re-build myself. Just as well I learnt some carpentry to build with eh?!

This is not meant to sound negative, but I have reached the point as I said previously where I just don't care for much. Right now I am focussed on meditating, loving my wife and getting well. Anything that conflicts with those things is going to get kicked into touch. For too long I have focussed on too many things, too many people. That isn't necessarily bad, but for now I will be going hermit crab on a few things. Once I'm well I'll be more Sebastien lobster (I'll let you work the reference ;))

Shit I don't even know where I was going with this post! But I guess I am just spitting some lines to clear my head and let you know that the meditation medicine is working. I'll keep you in the loop as I continue with it.

Thank you to all of you that have contacted me, it means a lot.

Are you ok?

Tom