Delayed posts

I began writing a post last week about guilt and I feel some of that for not writing for ten days, but I will save the delayed post until I've put some more thought into it.

For now I just wanted to say hi and update you on this rollercoaster ride. Lately I have been busy with work all be it not as crazy as Catherine. However I have noticed the effect of not meditating, training at the gym or balancing out life in some other way. Never the less I haven't completely fallen apart at the seams (some bad days, but I've talked myself out of them) and I've had a great realisation.

The realisation is that nothing really matters. This may sound gloomy, but actually it is the opposite. It is much more an acceptance that the things we hold dear, that we worry about, that we struggle to achieve don't really matter to anyone but ourselves. Yes people might admire us if we achieve some level of celebrity or success in business or our career. They may think we are superior if we are fit, have big muscles or make ourselves look good. But none of this matters if we aren't content ourselves. Contentment in life can only really come from within us, not from the external products of our labours. Accepting who we are, our strengths and weaknesses and being ok with all is our real aim in life. That is not to say that we should give up on life or our goals, but worry less about our journey there. Naturally this is easier said than done and something that I am working on each day.

The thought that nothing matters is a great relief and one that actually allows us freedom to do whatever we want. In this regard I have earnestly begun writing my book again, making sure I average a few pages of writing each day, regardless of how crap it may be. There could be a reason to doing this, an aim to writing a book, but actually I just like it. It could be shit, but it brings me contentment and maybe in the future it might help someone else.

Aside from writing and not worrying about life I have been working a lot as I said before. With work I have grown more confident in my abilities and happier that with practice I am improving. I am focused on learning from my mistakes and even the smallest details have given me great satisfaction recently. I feel that I am leaving behind the old me and gradually progressing forwards with the change into my new mind. At the end of the day we can all change ourselves, even our brains, we just have to know the "why?" and overcome our innate inertia. This change takes commitment and consistency as I have said before, but it is possible if you really want it.

I don't really know where I was going with this post this week, but that is ok. If we have a goal it should be to worry less about our goals and the journey there. Take that energy and just revel in the experiences you encounter and being present to each moment.

Tom out.