Something to mull

I had a thought yesterday when I was working on a paving job and getting frustrated that I couldn't get it perfect. It wasn't specific to me, but what if you had an accident and woke up with amnesia. If you had serious enough amnesia would it be possible that your brain wouldn't remember the negative self talking it always did, or the bad habits you'd created or even that you had depression or anxiety? Obviously there are chemical imbalances often involved in depression, but if you had been in complete bed rest for a long enough period without external stressors such as work, exercise, pollution, nagging family/friends would your body be able to recover it's normal hormone levels whilst repairing damage from the accident?

 I don't know what made me think of this and it wasn't because I was thinking about trying to create that situation. It was more that if our brains are so key to so many illnesses there should be nothing (except our brains funnily enough) to stop us from retraining how we think and how we talk to ourselves. I have obviously been working on retraining my brain and it is a difficult process that requires consistent effort, of which I don't always have the energy to give. But it is possible provided there is enough of a motivator there to do it because we are lazy beings. My motivation is increasing because I am more aware of how little time we actually have and there is nothing more motivating than the thought that I might die not having achieved or experienced a lot of what I dream about.

Part of my brain retraining involved getting rid of a lot of social media including Facebook. This has helped massively because I don't waste energy on it like I did before or fill my head with shit. I'd love it if friends actually used it as a tool to update people on their lives, but I know that isn't the purpose of social media. It's not about connecting friends and family, but about money, from advertising, games and apps. Yes it can be used to communicate with lots of people all at once, but how often do I need to do that? It's just another form of laziness and a removal of the personal connection. If we have so much more free time why can't we sit down and write a personal message to friends? I know I struggle with this as there always seems to be something pulling at my attention, which was one of the reasons for ridding myself of social media. I was connected to everyone but no-one at the same time. I'm still working on this because when I am not working long hours I have to switch my brain off for a bit. I've still got to factor training time and writing into my day, so the available time to sit down for meaningful and attentive communication becomes less. But that doesn't mean I am going to get lazy and give up, it just means I have to work harder at it and not let a Facebook status be my channel of communication with friends around the world.

I apologise for the explosion of thoughts today, but as you know this helps to clear my head! Hopefully it clears it enough to help in the creative writing that I am doing in the mornings. Only time will tell.

Are you ok?

Tom